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• Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.
~ Anonymous

• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
~ Phyllis Diller

• One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
~ Andy Rooney

• Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~ Larry Wilde

• Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.
~ Gary Allan

• Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge

• Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~ Kin Hubbard

• Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. ~ Lenore Hershey

• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~ Garrison Keillor

• I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I’ll drink the red.
~ Anonymous

• Three Wise WOMEN would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, bought practical gifts, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and there would be peace on earth!
~ Anonymous

• Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~ Dave Barry