• Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
~ Phyllis Diller
• One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
~ Andy Rooney
• Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~ Larry Wilde
• Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.
~ Gary Allan
• Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge
• Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~ Kin Hubbard
• Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. ~ Lenore Hershey
• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~ Garrison Keillor
• I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I’ll drink the red.
• Three Wise WOMEN would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, bought practical gifts, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and there would be peace on earth!
• Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~ Dave Barry