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Christmas Quotes

• Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks. ~ Anonymous • Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. ~ Phyllis Diller • One of the most glorious messes in the world is...

Questionable Song Titles

“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly” by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn “We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful.” by Steven Morrissey “Thank God And Greyhound (She’s Gone)” by Roy Clark “If You Don’t Believe I Love You, Just Ask My Wife” by Gary P. Nunn “You...

August In…

1492 – Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, with three ships, Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria seeking a westerly route to the Far East. 1790 – The first U.S. census was completed with a total population of 3,929,214. 1892 – Charles A. Wheeler...

August Jokes

An mature lady walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID.“You’ve got to be kidding,” she said. “I’m almost 60 years old.” The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The lady showed her ID, then paid and told the bar- tender to keep the change....

August Birthdays

President Barack Obama 8/4/61 President Bill Clinton 8/19/46 entrepreneur Warren Buffett 8/30/30 actor/comedian Steve Martin 8/14/45 singer Van Morrison 8/31/45 singer Tony Bennett 8/3/26 TV host Regis Philbin 8/25/31 TV host Al Roker 8/20/54 singer Kenny Rogers...

July Random Thoughts

I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,”Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. What if there were no hypothetical questions? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with...

July In…

Today in… 1776 United States Declaration of Independence Signed. 1889 The Wall Street Journal is first published. 1923 Insulin Introduced. 1935 The first parking meter in the U.S. the Park-O-Meter invented by Carlton Magee, was installed in Oklahoma City. 1955...

July Jokes and Quotes

A boy answers the phone. The caller asks, “Where’s your parents?” “They ain’t here!” ‘Where’s your grammar?” “My grammer ain’t here neither, she’s gone to church!” If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does...

July’s Birthdays

1924 Eva Marie Saint 1940 Ringo Starr 1942 Harrison Ford 1956 Tom Hanks 1958 Kevin Bacon 1960 Jane Lynch 1962 Tom Cruise 1967 Pamela Anderson 1967 Will Ferrell 1972 Sofía Vergara 1979 Kevin Hart 1986 Lindsay...